You know those times in life when you can’t shake the thoughts that someone
In your life IS a certain way.
This may sounds something like:
“My partner is controlling.”
“My kid doesn’t listen.”
“My business partner is lazy.”
“My best friend is too busy for me.”
You respect them dearly but at times they just annoy you for whatever reason.
Maybe you have thoughts like :
“They just don’t care.”
“They are never there in a time of my emotional needs.”
“They just don’t get me.”
Thoughts like these can get very tricky because they get in the way of you having powerful relationships.
What happens is your brain goes into <SCANNING MODE> looking looking looking for evidence to back up your story about this person. The key here is that your brain wants to find evidence to be right about your current viewpoint.
THE BAD NEWS…
That person gets pigeonholed because you will absolutely find evidence to support your story. You will be on the hunt for it and your brain will succeed at finding it. This is the beginning of sabotaging a relationship.
HERE’S THE COACHING:
Let’s say you are running a complaint about someone that “They just don’t care”.
I want you to think of a time in your life when that person did something for you that showed that they cared. Maybe they said something encouraging, they showed up in a compassionate way for you, or they advocated for you or something you care about. Locate any moment where this person demonstrated a way of being counter to the thoughts you’ve been having about them.
Go back to that moment and see how they were really there for you.
Did they say something compassionate?
Did they act in a way that showed initiative?
Did they surprise you?
Doing this will start to change your story of “They just don’t care” from being THE TRUTH to being a temporary interpretation of a moment in time.
This will give the person a shot of showing up in a different way for you.
Your viewpoint is much more powerful than you realize. You have the power to create another based on how you view them.
Try this to avoid actively sabotaging your most cherished relationships!